Greetings! And welcome to a new series I like to call…
“Illegible Texts From My Mother-in-Law”
The following are actual texts (Really!) that my sweet, wonderful mother-in-law has sent me over the past few months. I wanted to share them for two reasons: 1) Because they are endlessly amusing, and 2) because I’m hoping someone out there can translate for me.
Seriously…I really need to write her back.
One last thing…although the following collections of word-like forms and strangely placed punctuation (or lack thereof) seem to have been written by a completely incoherent author or possibly the Lone Ranger’s sidekick Tonto, I assure you that my mother-in-law is an intelligent, educated person who is usually capable of putting together clear, coherent thoughts.
But when it comes to texting… WTF?
“U know old cant c.i want c them mis them. Niceday”
(Although I have no idea what this one says, ending with “Niceday” leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy.)
“Know u hate tx last one that one guy looks like matt yanseen”
(I’m pretty certain in this one she’s referring to a friend of mine. Although I’m not completely sure, since I can’t spell his last name either.)
“Thx mayb she could bring it in give her game valentine day”
(This one started out pretty good but just fell apart in the end. Too bad.)
“Please ask gab hot or mild sopresata”
(I believe this one has to do with some sort of Italian meat? But I’m afraid to ask.)
“Waskfj gg. ?adfajaO *JKJL*8KDF dkk: @hh asdfdkfjsygynv …… ! ; )”
(Actually, I just made this one up. Pretty close though, right?)
“Half hour melisa didn’t want stop but gabe wanted 2 treat b safe and thx”
(Your guess is as good as mine.)
“Yeah Melissa turned tv off she meaner than me she is sleep I bet she wil want come home in morning don’t know y she is acting like this nite”
(I’m pretty sure she was drinking and texting on this one. Sounds like tequila to me.)